M.I.A.

so, I like the simplicity of the all black blog but I feel it's a little sad bastard for me and I'm not a fan of the all white. I'm shopping for some new templates and I like this one. I may stick with this one but there's also a template that has some deep reds that I may test drive as well.
I'm also working on linking my flickr accout for a slideshow.

so the short story--- UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

I'm uncertain why my picture is GYNORMOUS!
I mean really- - -

It's been an ongoing problem. The tile, that I adore, downstairs has a glitch. Maybe not so much a glitch, more like a vendetta!
See, the tile that is downstairs isn't an indoor grout, it's an exterior grout. I feel like knowing this makes me a mild dork- I feel like knowing that the floor wasn't leveled before the tile was laid makes me a medium dork. Wanting to redo the tile myself if I were staying makes me a super-dork (HGTV got's nothin' on me!).
So, I'm cleaning house the other day, often times a fruitless effort because some things can't really be cleaned (to be disclosed in future rant about the shit-hole that is my residence). So, yes, cleaning- and a rouge fleck of deviant grey grout liberates itself from the confines of the narrow tile alleys and STABS ME! Yes, this small piece of angry grout takes its frustration out on me, nearly crippling me. It's just a flesh wound- nothing too tragic, the rebel was sharp but only about the size of my pinkie finger nail. I dislodged it from the padding of my foot with minimal blood shed.
So, wear slippers and get a tetanus shot before stepping into the apartment that idiots built!

and an update--- I beleive LUGIE MAN has a cold or sinus infection of some kind. We have stepped up the frequency of items dislodged from the depths of the torso. 2 nights ago I was coming home and could hear (FROM WHERE I PARK MY CAR!) the sound of what I can only describe as him trying to muffle a weed-eater. KWAHAHAHAHA-uh.

I have decided that over the next 3 months and 2 weeks there will be one entry a week about the nightmare that is my apartment complex (complex like an unfortunate skin condition).
I have decided I'm moving. Courtney and I are going to begin, what I can only imagine, will be a lifetime of too many cats in our living quarters.

LUGIE MAN!
. . . at a rather late hour, every evening there is a guy that hocks something unnatural into the parking lot. Sometimes I'm in bed and only by the grace of thin walls do I hear mcccchhhhhhhhoooooooooohCK-PUH. I'm pretty certain he's the guy that lives here that is the 'maintenance man' however the idea that any 'maintenance' goes on- is suspect. It's a far cry from what I call character- it's more like a health code violation.
I by no means think that it's inappropriate to dislodge something from one's throat and or sinus cavity but I think 2 rules ought to apply. 1- Dislodge phlegm in the comfort of ones home or at the very least, bathroom. and B- Lugie Man is unearthing something from the depths of his torso that is deep. I mean- DEEP! Get that checked out, they gotta have something over-the-counter to help even the brownest of smoker's cough.

1. ah- is this not the WIERDEST SHIT you've ever seen?!? I mean really- stop all that shaking. Going one further, you don't have time to mourn the loss of your parents because you have to use the bathroom in front of others?



2. Last night- I got home and I'm on the couch. The cats are wrestling on the stairs (keep in mind there is a gap between each stair) and Othello FALLS BETWEEN THE STAIRS! From about 3 stairs from the top and nudges the lamp under the stairs. It was, for a moment, rainin' cats. He recovers, shakes it off, and then as if the fall shook something loose- he does a gansta stroll to the litter box. I guess that flash of one of the nine- scared the shit out of him.


3. It was a long morning and then I get to work and I'm rushing to get to a meeting. I go into the bathroom (this office used to be a jury deliberation room so there's bathrooms INSIDE the office- nice!) and my coworker is talking to me- while I'm on the TOY-LIT! Now, those that know me... well- know that I have loose personal boundaries- but good gawd- I'm not talking about victim contact WHILE PEEING! I hollar something about boundaries and then in a hurry get up, pull up pants, flush, and--- oh, wait THERE IT GOES! Along with the toilet paper goes my pager. Yeah- it flies off the lip of my pocket and into the toilet and down the hole. I start yelling--- "oh no!!! ah--- call someone .... CALL SOMEONE!!!!" I come out of the bathroom, pants up not buttoned, and tell Alicia to "Call someone!" because my pager "kamakazied into the toilet!"
Laughter ensues and then all the girls follow me to the meeting so that they see my supervisor's reaction. Laughter ensues again.



4. Today is World Aids Day. . . There will be between 4.3 and 6.6 MILLION estimated people newly infected this year! Half of that is from HETEROsexual sexual activity.