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Me- in action, sometimes inaction, but always- acting out!

Euphamism for abuse. . .

Monday, April 23, 2007

Alec Baldwin leaves this message on his daughters voicemail. If you haven't heard it or heard of it- take the time to check it out first.

I come home and in the midst of multi-tasking ET is making background noise. They have sound bites of various celebrities commenting on Alec rant. They have some giving a benign shaming of something close to, "oh, he should really learn to control his anger" or "he really lost his temper."


Loosing your temper is one thing but threatening to 'straighten [someone/any one's] ass out' is a misdemeanor. Telling your daughter she is a "pig" is abusive and warrants notifying CPS.
I don't have the expectation that everyone is as passionate about violence (in this case- the emotional violence directed at women and children) as I am- but I find it inexcusable to normalize this behavior by saying that this is a "private" matter.
Rosie O'Donnell, Judge Judy, Valerie Bertanelli, James Kahn--- all give Alec a pass by either excusing this or admonishing the child for by saying this is a private matter.


It is this unfortunate apathy that normalizes this type of abusive behavior for young girls and then we wonder "why does she stay" when she has a husband or partner that hits her.
We wonder why children don't tell an adult when someone hurts them- well clearly, this is private and not to be discussed. If this outcry isn't taken it seriously then why would a child run the risk at any other point during abuse?
Abuse is private enough- that's the problem.
We do ourselves, our children, our women, AND our men a disservice when we excuse any act of emotional violence and threats of physical harm by saying that it is 'private.'

True privacy never comes at the expense of one persons safety.
I don't care how Alec's tirade voicemail made it to the world wide web- I'm glad it did and I hope that we all reconsider the way we look at privacy. Privacy never NEVER comes at the cost of someones safety.

Resurrection of the dreaded Peeps!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

I have found it comforting to make my own traditions. This seems to be the hallmark of adulthood- doing new things and giving them a significance for the future.
I don't celebrate Easter. I think this has been a long-time coming since the proclaimed disdain of peeps.
Peeps- the 'Candy Cane' of Easter, the 'Conversation Heart' of Passover.... is bad in all it's gooey sweetness that causes sickness at the sight of it's blinding yellow and purple protective box and glaring at you from it's cellophane sanctuary.
P E E P S!
At any rate- I digress. Making my own traditions consists of doing things that I enjoy and taking a moment to honor them. I have a tendency to spend holidays doing what I want with those that want to join. I have a habit of being in places (paid work excluded) when I want to doing what I want. It seems selfish on paper but really, I think, this is the virtue of being an adult in adult times where the guilt and shame of 'ought' and 'should' take a backseat to knowing that if today's the last day- I'm not wasting my energy on any bullshit that means little if anything to me. I have learned that I may miss-out by doing things that I really don't want to do but the people that I spend time with get the pleasure of knowing that I'm not there because I have to be- I'm showing up with all my resources because I truly want to be aware and there.

Being aware and there with every bit of authenticity that I am able to bring.

So I don't celebrate Easter and I'm not sending out cards and I'm sure as hell not buying any candy- until the day after because it's on a sweet discount! You can keep those sick peeps but I will straight-up throw elbows for some reduced-price Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs!
All this thought of making new traditions, I worked today- like I do most Sundays and on my way home (irritated because Target was closed and I really needed something although now I can't remember what it was....), I thought I would make dinner and relax. I thought I would take advantage of the time found that would have been spent at the store and spend it in the kitchen and talking to the cats.

I get the mail.
I will remind you that sometimes the mail--- it is not safe.

I got a kick out of this card. 86'd the meal and wrote this blog with some Bailey's and a splash of coffee. Why is it so freakishly cold this year?!?

I will NOT be giving Peeps a chance. I will however, be loving those that know me all-too-well to know that this is funny and wrong. . . and funny. I will have them with me in spirit of new traditions. I raise my mug to you!

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