The deadliest of ALL weapons
I knew what I was doing when I did it- I guess that's all that really matters!
Everyday I face the disgruntled 'security' workers. There is something truly damning about being hired to do a job and then being subjected to an x-ray machine and a nasty look you will assuredly get when you beep your way through the threshold. While I understand- only because they like to yell it to you- that they "gotta jahb tuh do here-a, OK?!?" I find no reason for the only thing security does a good job of is making everyone feel bad. I am not the source of your contention. I am a worker for the man just like you and I would rather we try and create a solidarity instead of an adversity.
Until today.
This crazy white girl has had enough of it! ALL OF IT!
-the dirty look that I get when I bring my travel mug in. Screw you- I gotta caffeinate, I'm runnin' on 4 hours of sleep!
-the ugly tone that is barked from the other side of a machine wanting to know if I work here because "you ain't supposed to have (insert something benign here), OK?!?" I respond with an eye-roll, followed with a sigh, and then mumble 'whatever' under my breath upon exit.
-the loud: UGLY LOUD, beeeeep that comes from waiving the 'wand' over me to make absolute certain that I'm not sneaking a fork into the building in my shoe OR that my 'silver' jewelry is silver. Don't try coming into this joint with an especially supportive bra OR an IUD!
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!
Today I get stopped after my purse goes through the all-knowing all-seeing 'Oz' machine.
Jackass in a black blazer: "uh, miss"
m.i.a.: blank stare towards voice
black blazer: "uh, miss- you have something in your purse"
m.i.a.: "yep, I have several things"
*chuckle from the guy behind me
black blazer: "well, I think you have either tweezers or something metal"
m.i.a.: "yep" picks up purse to leave....
black blazer: "uh- miss, you're going to have to take that outside beca...."
m.i.a.: "NO I'M NOT- this? THIS?" pulls out weapon in dramatic fashion "THIS IS AN EYELASH CURLER- not dubya ihm dee!"
black blazer: " uh. . . "
I then go turning in a most dramatic blur and with determination I make my way towards the foyer to clock in. Yes- all this before I am even on the man's dime!
I then ran into a large Sheriff's officer- nearly spilling my coffee.
I did it- I brought the eyelash curler today- and I'll do it again!
Everyday I face the disgruntled 'security' workers. There is something truly damning about being hired to do a job and then being subjected to an x-ray machine and a nasty look you will assuredly get when you beep your way through the threshold. While I understand- only because they like to yell it to you- that they "gotta jahb tuh do here-a, OK?!?" I find no reason for the only thing security does a good job of is making everyone feel bad. I am not the source of your contention. I am a worker for the man just like you and I would rather we try and create a solidarity instead of an adversity.
Until today.
This crazy white girl has had enough of it! ALL OF IT!
-the dirty look that I get when I bring my travel mug in. Screw you- I gotta caffeinate, I'm runnin' on 4 hours of sleep!
-the ugly tone that is barked from the other side of a machine wanting to know if I work here because "you ain't supposed to have (insert something benign here), OK?!?" I respond with an eye-roll, followed with a sigh, and then mumble 'whatever' under my breath upon exit.
-the loud: UGLY LOUD, beeeeep that comes from waiving the 'wand' over me to make absolute certain that I'm not sneaking a fork into the building in my shoe OR that my 'silver' jewelry is silver. Don't try coming into this joint with an especially supportive bra OR an IUD!
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!
Today I get stopped after my purse goes through the all-knowing all-seeing 'Oz' machine.
Jackass in a black blazer: "uh, miss"
m.i.a.: blank stare towards voice
black blazer: "uh, miss- you have something in your purse"
m.i.a.: "yep, I have several things"
*chuckle from the guy behind me
black blazer: "well, I think you have either tweezers or something metal"
m.i.a.: "yep" picks up purse to leave....
black blazer: "uh- miss, you're going to have to take that outside beca...."
m.i.a.: "NO I'M NOT- this? THIS?" pulls out weapon in dramatic fashion "THIS IS AN EYELASH CURLER- not dubya ihm dee!"
black blazer: " uh. . . "
I then go turning in a most dramatic blur and with determination I make my way towards the foyer to clock in. Yes- all this before I am even on the man's dime!
I then ran into a large Sheriff's officer- nearly spilling my coffee.
I did it- I brought the eyelash curler today- and I'll do it again!
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 at 9:07 AM.
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I don't know what impresses me more - the fact that you gave 'em hell or that you know what to do with an eyelash curler. :-)
damn the man
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