M.I.A.

I can hear her from my desk- DAILY. She clerks for one of the courts and, bless her heart, she's a talker. No judging- we smell our own.
She regularly discusses how sick her mother is and there is nothing anyone can do for her and yet should someone mention the slightest ailment she has a down-home cure. Like snorting a baby asprin for cataracts or duct taping warts....

At any rate- I can hear the swoon of her pack-a-day husk as she's talking to a defendent on the phone today. It started off as something I could avoid- because I usually do. What got my attention was,
"Well how many protective orders do you have against you?"
"Mmmm Hmmm."
"OK."
*pause*
"Well, have you thought about not hittin' any more women?"

I believe I am going to put that on a t-shirt...

Thursday found me struggling to keep up with my own unreasonable standards of casemanagement. So many cases- so little time. After a frustrating... something or other. . . I go to my quiet place. I run my fingers through my hair- sit quietly for a moment, flush, wash my hands...

Standing in front of the mirror- it becomes painfully clear.

There is a gray hair standing straight up.
On top of my head.
Announcing it's presence.

I felt like I had no choice but to quash the revolution and color the rest of them.

Saturday found me with a pair of scissors, and my best friend with a bottle of Warm Ash Brown. I was going to show all the hairs who's boss. Bathroom Barber gave me freshly trimmed bangs and a fancy new (100% coverage) color. The only redeeming quality is my mother's wisdom which goes something like, "Well, you better use sunscreen. See, you either get gray hair or wrinkles- and remember, your grandmother had a full head of black hair when she passed on."

Next month finds me turning 28 years old looking younger today than I did Friday. Thank you L'Oreal- thank you.

The top 5 STUPIDEST t-shirts seen at the 'office' . . . . .

5. Shirt with a chalk outline on it.
Initially I was surprised- then the reality sets in- if you wear a tshirt to appear before a judge and it's got a depiction of an outlined body- that's social Darwinism!

4. "Rehab is for quitters" tied with: any 'chronic' lingo tees
This guy was on his way to probation.

3. Back: "If you can read this, the bitch fell off"
Yes captain obvious, evidently she did.

2. "You can't afford me!" on a (too) tight baby tee
I think it would read better: you can't afford my court costs. That's it!

1. "FEDSEX, when you absolutely have to have it tonight"
Not just wrong- insanely stupid when standing in the family violence waiting room.