M.I.A.

. . . . is like what this post is.
Well- I've been incredibly uninspired to write. I'm uncertain why really- I know I'm always busy but....
I'll get back on track soon.

I have been tagged.

Four jobs you've had in your life
Shoe Sales Women
Apartment Community Manager
Volunteer Coordinator
Victim Advocate

Four Movies that you could watch over and over
The Color Purple
The American President
So I Married an Axe Murderer
Eddie Izzard (Dressed to Kill and Glorious both equally well done)

Four Places you've lived
Wichita, Kansas
Fate, Texas
Plano, Texas
Dallas, Texas

Four T.V. shows you love to watch
West Wing
Trading Spouses ('love' is a stretch)
the news- just the news (especially the weather)

Four places you've been on vacation
The Bahamas
Las Vegas
San Francisco
San Antonio

Four websites you visit daily
Regynouth Archives
Myspace
Dallas DV Resources
Gmail

Four of your favorite foods (just 4!?!)
Cheeze Pizza and beer
Fake meat tacos with spanish rice and lots of sour cream and cheeze and beer
Peanut sauce (I am still unable to make it! I'm bitter)
Chili's black bean burger with mushrooms and swiss change no salt on the fries extra honey mustard on the side and tea (beer doesn't accompany EVERY meal. . . )

Four places you'd rather be
with you
with more money
with less debt
with nothing but time

Four Albums you can't live without
Fiona Apple- When the pawn hits. . .
Natalie Merchant- Tigerlily
Third Eye Blind- Third Eye Blind
Death Cab for Cutie- Plans

Four people to tag with this meme
Courtney
Gaby (welcome!)
Emilie
Auntie Kim

I'm on my way to check-in with my supervisor and she and I and one of the public defenders and are in her office. We're talking about this case and it's really sad. This girl is in jail because she beat up her father. She beat him up because he was about to beat up mom. In the middle of talking out this hateful mess, you can clearly hear from up the hall, "Tell the judge that my attorney is a fucker!" "You hear me... he uh fucker!"
I advised the public defender that his client may looking for him.
We laughed.

Yeah--- that was the coolest part of my day. I love it when the animals get restless!

Today, honoring MLK, I participated in the Dallas Dinner Table as a facilitator. This is my third year to participate, my first year to foster and moderate the conversations that are based on race relations- specifically in Dallas. It was, as usual- wonderful. Here's the top 3 lessons I learned this year from this group. Click here to understand the details.

3. My love of people is endless. I found that in discussion there were responses or answers to questions that I do not agree with and yet I value the set of experiences that brought someone to the opinion they have. I find myself reminded that it is not a matter of 'right' or 'wrong,' it is a matter of perspective.
2. My love of conversation is endless. I love talkin' it out! I love getting to the issue. I love understanding what paves ones road to the conclusion they have. (If anyone knows of a way to make this pay- please let me know!)
1. My reality is diverse and expanding. My reality is that it is one thing to acknowledge racism, it's another to make attempts at doing something about it.

*The cutest part was that I got a free dinner- I mean really what's not to love!

BEST meals- because real women eat!
5. New Years Day dinner with Dad'n'Kathy'n'Mallory. As Em refers to it- the shrimp ORGY!

4. Food and friends at my house warming party in September. Good times. Good grazing.

3. Suzanne and Lincoln's rehearsal dinner in Carmel CA. It was really good food and company.

2. Thanksgiving- yeah, I think this is everyone's top 5.

1. My birthday dinner. Ok, it was at Macaroni Grill (not that exciting) but having 2 of the best friends a girl could have and a conversation that made my day and reminds me that it's so good to be me because they are so good to me.

"that's the BEST news I've heard"
5. "I got the job!" Congratulations Court, I am so excited for this opportunity!

4. "It's a boy!" Em's an aunt- I am so happy for you and Mel'n'Dan!

3. "I'm pregant!" ah yeah! Bulldog Brown and Kitty Kat create the latest in genius babies.

2. "I'm engaged!" It's been an eventful year as a Smith family spectator.

1. "We'd like to offer you the position as an Advocate." Really- I think all these rank rather close. I don't mean to seem self important by putting me first but, it is my list.

BEST compliments- because real women are grateful!
5. From my former boss- "I'm going to miss you, I'm going to miss just knowing what you are up to."

2. From Emilie- "You are the strongest person I know." (I think SHE'S strong, she's so many things...)

1. From Jenn- "I know you can do this, and I'm just really going to miss you." (Regarding me going to the DA's office, I just really think she did and does far more for me than me her)

WORST pick-up lines- because single is not a sentence- it's a comedy!
5. "So, yeah- you wanna keep it casual?"
To which I said, "I'm wearing jeans, I don't plan on being any more casual than that."
What I thought- I'm posting a 'NO Soliciting' sign on my life only so I can later point to it and say nothing.

4. "Are you a pilot?"
To which the reply was, "Ah, no."
What I thought- Not a pilot, but evidently I'm unable to steer away from freaks.

3. "I see you're liberal. Well, I won't hold that against you."
To which I said, "Really? Thanks."
What I thought- being 'liberal' isn't the only thing you'll NEVER hold against me!

2. I was wearing a scarf around my neck.... "Nice scarf, I'd like to help you tie that." wink wink
To which the reply was, "I'm uncertain that's an option, unless of course, you'd like it to use it the keep comments like that from coming out of your mouth." reciprocated wink
What I thought- I said that!

1. "Oh, you're a vegetarian. So you don't eat ANY kind of meat?" half cocked smile with head tilted.
To which I said, "Well, no. Nothing that had a pulse or a face or a spine--- so I'm sure you'd be excluded too."
What I thought- I said that!

BEST New music- "eewnsuh eewnsuh eewnsuh"
5. The Streets- UK rap comes to town- it is beerlarious!
4. Keane- again, from across the big pond- a little sad, uber cute!
3. Imogen Heap aka Frou Frou- I didn't mean to musically defect, but UK's doin some things.
2. Death Cab for Cutie- it's Indie, it's soulful- get it now before all the 14 year olds ruin it.
1. Zero 7- this is not new--- I'm just now getting it. Better late than ... even later. I don't know.

I do this thing ever so often where I like to think about what I was doing or where I was at this time last year. That didn't give me any peace.
So I thought of how quickly the '05 has passed, that too did not give me peace. While this year has brought a lot of personal growth- it has come at a cost.
So then I thought about what I'd like to resolve to do in the up coming year. Resolutions- if you will.
Well, I think- after pondering this on the drive home- doesn't the new year's resolution in some way intimate that if I could or wanted to do that thing (workout, call my parents more, eat less, throw-up more, insert typical lofty slash realistic goal here) that I already would. I understand that sometimes we just need a little focus or prompting and the perceived 'clean slate' of a new year lets you borrow that. Really though- if you wanted to--- you would. If I wanted to- I would.

So- here's the shit I struggle with everyday that I don't give myself credit for, that I have worked on, that I continue to work on, so that I can find that place where I'm calm inside no matter what's going on outside.....

Finances- I hate Sallie Mae and her 10 year loan but I love her for the peace of paper that's framed in my office. S-M and I are working out our stuff- it's a paycheck to paycheck struggle.
My car- she will be paid off this year, April I believe. It is then I will get her the lube job of her life so that she will stay with me for as long as possible. I really am trying not to hit so much stuff- really!
My health- I didn't intend to go so long without getting my teeth cleaned- it's a well know fact that I'm weird about teeth in general, especially my teeth. I'm working on it, it's gonna happen now that we have dental--- ah yeah!
My health part deux- it's not enough to read sell-hellP books, it's a changing of a pattern of behaviors that isn't working. I'm not going to build a big let down for myself by reSOLVing to do or not do something. Mental health is an evolution not a resolution, I'm doing what I can.
My future- it's so vague and yet so clear. The more I find what I like to do and what I'm good at- the more I wonder what the next 5 er 10 years will bring. I like what I do, I'm good at it. I'm happy- can it be better elsewhere? Could it be better doing more? It's clearly vague. It's cute!

So really that's it. I'm not resoluting anything that I'm not already doing as it is. I do what I can. I think most people do. So--- if you make resolutions, and this works for you- great! I support your initiative to become more than you already are and your attempts at betterment. If you say 'damn the man' and resolve to make no resolution- I am with you! I AM WITH YOU!