groceries
tonight Emilie and i went to the grocery store.
i am so proud and some of this came to me while at the grocery store. i have a vision of who i would like to be and that person has the following qualities- she is not just confident, she is self-assured, she is an activist, she is comfortable in her own skin even when others are not, she has goals that challenge her emotionally and promote some change that she would like to see in the world, she is kind, she is funny, she is passionate and can inspire, she has good skin, she has a kind smile, she is fun at parties, she brings her own alcohol, she has close friends and not so close friends and is ok with that, she is automatic but can drive a standard, she is generous, she is conservative- ok not really, she has fun shoes, she can decorate, she is appreciative.
...and so these are some of the things that i aspire to be when i see a vision of who i would like to be. i had the realization that i am, if not exactly- then rather close to, that person. i am enjoying who i am and i find that i'm not the only one. i find that it is incredibly hard for me to right a resume, stroke my own ego, compliment myself- but when i think about who i want to be and checklist whether or not i am- it seems easier. my co-workers enjoy my presence, my friends enjoy my presence- they tell me so because they've told me so recently due to my failed relationship prompted absence, my parents have told me so, and my best friend- she tells me so.
Emilie and i are at the grocery store and she is picking among the fruits, and i'm wandering about and i see these corn chips- il miligorna... something en espanol that i don't remember. i remember jake and i buying some when we went camping and how we ate the whole bag, i probably ate the whole bag... and i got a little sad. and this is where my heart came through for me. it was a bittersweet memory- camping, but in these initial 'readjusting' weeks (or as i like to call it- 'post shitstorm times') Emilie has been a constant present- sometimes calm, sometimes fun, or exciting, and sometimes a carefully listening comfort. it's as i'm staring at the chips, picking my lip, curling my arms close to my chest, trying to will myself away from staring into the bag of cornchips that have now become so nostalgic- i turn around and i felt so comforted by my best of some 18 years now. and i think i'm comforted because she says, "oh wow, there are even more apples on this side!" yup, it's not a pity party when your best friend is getting pumped about the selection of apples at kroger. yeah- we got fuji's. i love, love, love my best friend- and there has been more than one occasion when i know there is a god, God, gawd, because we are together and i know that we, i am truly blessed to have a part of your heart and that you have a part of mine.
and so there's that.
i am so proud and some of this came to me while at the grocery store. i have a vision of who i would like to be and that person has the following qualities- she is not just confident, she is self-assured, she is an activist, she is comfortable in her own skin even when others are not, she has goals that challenge her emotionally and promote some change that she would like to see in the world, she is kind, she is funny, she is passionate and can inspire, she has good skin, she has a kind smile, she is fun at parties, she brings her own alcohol, she has close friends and not so close friends and is ok with that, she is automatic but can drive a standard, she is generous, she is conservative- ok not really, she has fun shoes, she can decorate, she is appreciative.
...and so these are some of the things that i aspire to be when i see a vision of who i would like to be. i had the realization that i am, if not exactly- then rather close to, that person. i am enjoying who i am and i find that i'm not the only one. i find that it is incredibly hard for me to right a resume, stroke my own ego, compliment myself- but when i think about who i want to be and checklist whether or not i am- it seems easier. my co-workers enjoy my presence, my friends enjoy my presence- they tell me so because they've told me so recently due to my failed relationship prompted absence, my parents have told me so, and my best friend- she tells me so.
Emilie and i are at the grocery store and she is picking among the fruits, and i'm wandering about and i see these corn chips- il miligorna... something en espanol that i don't remember. i remember jake and i buying some when we went camping and how we ate the whole bag, i probably ate the whole bag... and i got a little sad. and this is where my heart came through for me. it was a bittersweet memory- camping, but in these initial 'readjusting' weeks (or as i like to call it- 'post shitstorm times') Emilie has been a constant present- sometimes calm, sometimes fun, or exciting, and sometimes a carefully listening comfort. it's as i'm staring at the chips, picking my lip, curling my arms close to my chest, trying to will myself away from staring into the bag of cornchips that have now become so nostalgic- i turn around and i felt so comforted by my best of some 18 years now. and i think i'm comforted because she says, "oh wow, there are even more apples on this side!" yup, it's not a pity party when your best friend is getting pumped about the selection of apples at kroger. yeah- we got fuji's. i love, love, love my best friend- and there has been more than one occasion when i know there is a god, God, gawd, because we are together and i know that we, i am truly blessed to have a part of your heart and that you have a part of mine.
and so there's that.
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on Monday, February 21, 2005 at 10:09 PM.
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"oh look, there's more apples on this side!"
Priceless.
~Casey
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